watched at home (or somewhere else)

The Closer

2010-02-08T16:43:00.000-05:00

I love watching an entire TV series on DVD back to back. I've watched about eight episodes of The Closer, and I really enjoy it so far.

This show is about a woman, Kyra Sedwick aka Deputy Police Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson, who leaves Atlanta, where she was a top cop of sorts (at solving crimes). The ethics inquiry in Atlanta made her relocate to Los Angeles at the urgings of her ex-boss and new boss, J.K. Simmons, who plays Asst. Police Chief Will Pope. If you were a fan of the Law and Order: Criminal Intent series, his face will be recognizable.

I try not to look too closely at Kyra Sedwick. She's got a (scary) mouth, which is much bigger than Julia Roberts. I didn't think that was possible. Two fists and a whole chicken could fit into that bad boy. She likes to keep it open all the time too. Odd. Maybe all that plastic surgery leaves a slack jaw as her only option to be "expressive."

Great show. I really like it. Very diverse cast. I wonder how long it will be before the only black woman there will last. I've not seen season two yet, so we'll see.

One of her co-stars on the show, Corey Reynolds, as Sgt. David Gabriel is so cute. He's got lovely big brown eyes. He must have been such an adorable looking little boy. I know he's a big, grown man, but he has such a young face.

I find Johnson's "romance" with Jon Tenney, as FBI Agent Fritz Howard, unbelievable, but she needs someone in her corner, and that's fine.

I like the way she's able to connect the dots and figure out who committed the murder, because she listens so well.

Once again, it's a great show, and I look forward to watching the entire series.

Avatar - Dances With Cat People

2010-01-14T18:12:00.000-05:00

I liked the movie, Avatar, by James Cameron. I have not seen Titanic. The thought of watching a three hour movie about a sinking ship doesn't appeal to me.

This movie is spectacular to look at. The 3D aspect does make you feel immersed in the movie. Very nice to look at.

Plot: The natives, called Na'vi, on Pandora are under siege by military contractors (not the Marines) to mine the planet for unobtanium, which is worth about 16 million a kilo. That would justify the cost of a corporation spending so much in resources to head to another galaxy. This story happens in the future - the year 2150.

The lead male character Jack Sully, aka Sam Worthington, mentally links to a genetically created human-Na'vi hybrid Avatar to get close to the Na'vi. He was recruited to replace his twin brother who died. He was able to use his brother's Avatar, because they have the same DNA.

Side note: Imagine being able to walk about in another body? That's a scary, yet exciting future to imagine. That is a true, fantasy, roll playing, out-of-body experience.

Zoe Saldana voices Neytiri, the princess of the Na'vi people. Sigourney Weaver plays the brilliant Dr. Grace Augustine, who helped create the Avatars. Stephen Lang (old man hotness) plays the delightful and memorable bad guy Colonel Miles Quaritch. I would savor bringing him back for the sequel. He's very sexy.

Stephen Lang: Sexy mature man

I cannot imagine seeing this at home, because the 3D aspect would be lost. It was an enjoyable film, not a brilliant masterpiece, but fun all the same.

Racism Chasers

I read the complaints about the racism in this film, or the usage of a "white messiah". I'm not a "racism chaser", so I thought the main character, Jake Sully, wasn't a savior, but someone willing to offer a different perspective and think "outside of the box." Doesn't it help to have another fresh set of eyes to look at a problem? Anyway, he helps the Na'vi help themselves. He does not singlehandedly do everything. He admits he cannot.

Did these "racism chasers" even see the film? They get so wrapped up in the modern anti-Western Lit Crit (all the white males are racists) point of view, they can't watch something with an unbiased perspective. If they remember correctly, all stories have a s/hero who saves everyone. Nowadays, it's not just a white guy, Will Smith and Denzil Washington have made plenty of Magic Negro films.

People like to look for something to be offended by. It's a hobby for them.

Ninja Assassin

2009-12-07T19:08:00.000-05:00

I love martial arts film. My understanding is that Rain will be making an Enter the Dragon-style film coming up, if not the actual remake.

Ninja Assassin was released in theaters over a week ago. I saw it, because I read that Naomie Harris (who plays Mika) was starring in this film. She was definitely, a critically necessary element of this film. Why? Rain (as Raizo) doesn't say much. I suppose the director, James McTeigue, felt it was better to go with the stoic, inscrutable, stereotypical Asian male character and run with it.

Naomie spends a sufficient amount of time conducting a near-narration and summation of events. She has to. In this movie, Rain isn't up to the level of speaking English where he could explicate himself proficiently. Although the basso level of his voice is nice.

He's getting there though.

What Rain does do well is marital arts. Since it is a form of nimble and sophisticated dancing, our Korean Pop Star has the magnificent physique (dude has a banging body!), grace, and stamina to carry it off.

There is plenty of CGI created gore in this film. In some scenes I cover my eyes, because there is only so much blood (fake or otherwise) that I care to see.

Plot summary: Raizo is a member of a Ninja clan who kidnap children and train them to become deadly fighters. His childhood true love is killed by order of the Ninja master, Ozunu. She tried to run away. Death was her punishment. Ozunu is a very sadistic and cruel man, who delighted in torturing Raizo to make him the best of the Ninja clan. When Ozunu asks Raizo to kill a girl who escaped and was re-captured, he rebels, attacks the old man and gets away.

This movie is all about vengeance. Mika's angle is that she works for Interpol, and as she starts to investigate the Ninja they come after her. Raizo saves Mika. She saves him. Raizo saves her. Mika saves him. You get the point.

I was sorta hoping for a bit more chemistry between them, like a few hot kisses. It's almost there when they share a bit of funny banter. I felt their interaction was somewhat stilted, because Raizo has to be so stoic, unemotional, and calm. I think Rain was trying. I'll give him that.

There was so much that could have been gained if he was allowed to crack, release, change, and show some emotion, heat, lust - you name it. It does happen, but not where I would have preferred. It didn't need to be dramatic. This film was not about subtlety, so I know I am asking for too much in this kind of macho kick-all-'em-asses type of film.

Alas, they did not (lip lock) kiss.

I think the last time a black woman and Asian male starred in a film together was Romeo Must Die with Aaliyah and Jet Li. At least with Naomie and Rain their ages are closer togther.

If there was another big film release of a black woman and Asian male starring together, someone tell me. That was the only film I know of.

Law Abiding Citizen

2009-11-08T09:18:00.001-05:00

Jamie "shar-pei" Foxx

Hmmm. Gerald Butler is the man from 300. He loves black women. Unfortunately, he's paired with beady-eyed, Chinese shar-pei face, Jamie Foxx.

Hmmm. Butler plays Clyde Shelton, a good guy turned revenge seeking angry man. Clyde and his family are the victims of a home invasion; his wife and daughter are killed. Jamie Foxx's character Nick Rice cuts a plea-bargain deal where only one of the criminals is sentenced to receive the death penalty.

Ten year later, Clyde Shelton takes the law into his own hands. He really and truly punishes the criminals, then goes on to teach everyone in the criminal justice system a lesson - from his jail cell. The mystery is how is he able to kill while still locked up? Does he have an accomplice? Is it part of a bigger organization?

Hmmm. A straightforward, thrill seeking, ultra-violent film. He makes things go boom. No hard thinking is required.

I saw this film, and enjoyed it. It wasn't a blockbuster, knock-you-out-of-your-seat thriller, but rather interesting.

Source: zimbio / Getty Images

It has the lovely Viola Davis (a quasi-regular of Law and Order) playing the Mayor of Philly, and Regina Hall (the sister from all those Scary Movie parodies) as the wife of Rice.

I haven't seen a movie with this many black women in leading roles in a long while. Oh, wait, then again Gerald Butler is the producer, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised. That's why I always can tell how some of these Hollywood people feel about black women: if we're never seen, they don't like 'em. Sometimes if we're seen, it's a horrible stereotype and / or portrayed by an idiot in a fat suit.

I'm taking down names, and I'm keeping track of whose movies / TV shows are worth following and which are not.

The Forgotten and Flash Forward

2009-10-10T16:31:00.007-04:00

Please keep her working,
Mr. Bruckheimer

I almost want to take a bet on which show, The Forgotten and Flash Forward, is going to last, but I have a suspicion that the one executive produced by J. Bruckheimer will.

It doesn't mean that Flash Forward will be canceled, I just suspect that The Forgotten wont have trouble being renewed.

Why? It is Without a Trace or Cold Case with a faint touch of CSI wrapped up in a (ex)cop-seeks-redemption show. I watch all of the CSIs, as well as millions of other people, and the formula obviously works.

Without a Trace lasted 7 seasons, and Cold Case is still on. No offense intended, but Kathryn Morris has got to be the whitest creature in the media today. Is that make-up? I like the show, but I've gotten creeped out looking at her. I don't watch it anymore. Not that I can, I don't have live TV, and unless I want to access it via illegal methods, I can't see it online. No loss to me.

Flash Forward's cast is Joseph Fiennes, John Cho, Courtney Vance and Gabrielle Union. There are a few other familiar faces, but this show has an enormous ensemble. Gabrielle Union plays the fiancee of John Cho.

Finally! Producers of TV shows are starting to hookup black women with men of other races. Nice touch! I'm long ways tired of the single, lonely, sexless, humorless, Mammy-for-everybody black female characters on some shows. I'm glad those actresses are working, but there are black women who really do like men, and want a character who looks and acts normal.

I feel that a program like this shouldn't be a regular series striving to last half a decade or more, but should give itself a specific end date. There are so many programs that should have done this: Heroes and Lost, for example. I fear this show will run out of steam, or become too convoluted, before it ends.

Yet, isn't that the case with too many shows?

The Forgotten is already my favorite program. The deceased is given a voice. The purpose of The Forgotten Network is to find the identity of a John / Jane Doe, give the person back to their family (to let all rest in peace), and possibly solve a murder. It gives me goose bumps.

It stars a familiar face, Christian Slater (who just had another show canceled) as Alex Donovan, plus a few faces I'm not familiar with. I like Rochelle Aytes (as Grace Russell). Her character worked with Donovan on the Chicago Police Department.

Donovan's back story: His child was kidnapped. He suffered a nervous breakdown, left the force, and joined The Forgotten Network.

Ever since the fascination with serial killers have gripped our modern media industrial complex, nearly every police drama has been about the murderer. S/He is the star. S/He is the focus of our very warped interest. It is nice to see it turn back to looking at the victim, and how that person's death affected everyone around them.

It's not all about pain, it's about resolution too. I love the way each person is treated with dignity, respect, and allowed to narrate their story. Although, I'm sure there will be episodes about horrible people who were killed.

I like this show, it's one of the few that show a real respect for life. Yeah, I'm reaching in my analysis, but the death as art and entertainment gets numbing after a while. It's good that there's a show that says, this person on the table had a life too, and is not just a piece of entertaining meat to make fun of.

Nice touch ABC, please keep both shows on the air.

Twilight

2009-08-26T17:08:00.001-04:00

Pretty guy alert: Bella's friend Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner).

Twilight was unintentionally funny, yet disturbing. I saw it on DVD, and this film would be a wonderful source of parodies for years to come.

I think what may have sounded great on paper (Twilight comes from a series of books about a teen in love with a vampire), but on screen: B-film quality, melodramatic, creepy, campy, and downright corny.

I Think I've Seen This Before

As an old reader of "she loves her murderous, dangerous, super-strong, pale, he-can't-read-her-mind, uberman (Ubermensch) vampire" stories, I'm reminded of Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire series. It's on cable as True Blood. I haven't watched the series yet, so I don't know how close that adheres to the books.

It was enjoyable to watch Twilight for two reasons: the director (Catherine Hardwicke) made Forks, Washington look like the most beautiful place on earth, and the music was rather nice. The cinematography of this flick was simply awesome. Makes me want to visit Washington state just to take a look-see.

This movie follows Isabella Swan (Bella played by Kristen Stewart) who decides to live with her father, Charlie (Billy Burke), because her Mom's new husband is a minor league baseball player. The choice for the mother was either stay home to look after a teen in Phoenix, Arizona, or travel with her man. Bella decided to make her Mother happy and seek out Charlie.

Census Count: Check

Overall, the casting was surprisingly inclusive, every demographic was in this film: Asian, black, white, Latino, and Native American. I don't think I can recall a movie this inclusive, and I've seen too many to count.

I only wish that Charlie was having a relationship with the black waitress, Cora, (Ayanna Berkshire). She seemed sweet on him. Plus, I find it hard to believe that a Sheriff as good looking as this guy could be single. I hope she's in the sequel.

Kiddie Pool: Deeper Than Suspected

As for dialogue, I find gasps for breath, hangdog, open mouth expressions, not being quite able to say what they feel, and excessive pauses in dialogue to be irritating. The flow of conversation could have been handled better. It came across as overdone, campy, and silly.

You know what though? I think this film is something that pre-teens (and younger) shouldn't be exposed to. Although the film was rated PG, I felt there was something unseemly being conveyed. I'm not a prude. I've read some hardcore stuff at an early age, but I grew up closely supervised and protected. I can only imagine what kids are free to do today.

Predators 'R Welcome!

What was unseemly in the film? Straight up, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) was a weird, creepy stalker. Despite the bad boy saving a helpless damsel in distress, James Dean vibe or hairdo, he was way way older - nearly a century - than Bella.

He admits, he's killed. He claims he's a monster.

And Bella's response to these nuggets of information? "I don't care."

Initially, from the way they behaved, I couldn't discern mutual attraction, or that they were even in love.

He has cold hands. He's the undead. There's no warmth in his body. If only the writers understood how uncomfortable and unattractive cold hands, a mouth and body is. Even in the beginning of the movie Bella admits she doesn't like cold wet things. When they kiss, I'm thinking, A cold mouth? That's repulsive.

Vampire or not, he's essentially a cannibal. He's telling her has to constantly control his urge to eat / drink her dry / kill her.

Does that sound romantic to you?

Our Alternate Universe

I twisted this scenario to a real world scenario: image an older guy, a killer, a rapist, a sadist, telling a young girl he can't stay away, because he needs to kill her?

What's the young girl supposed to feel? Attraction and flattered? GTFOOH.

Aren't there enough missing young women about? I'm not saying young girls are all airheads, but some (as well as boys) are emotionally vulnerable, the right kind of attention and pressure could get them into a lot of troubling situations.

For Adults Minds Only

It's an adequate film for the mentally stable, hard to impress, media resistant, and with a healthy ability to recognize schlock when they see it. I'm hoping there's no suggestion lurking in any mind that anything that's presented as a relationship in this movie is something worth emulating.

And with that said, I look forward to the sequel when it is eventually released on DVD.

District 9

2009-08-19T20:23:00.003-04:00

District 9 is the first major film effort of director Neill Blomkamp backed by Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings maestro). Shot documentary style, it is funny, gory (I likes!), and action packed. Not a dull moment.

I enjoyed this movie, but it was a guilty sort of pleasure. It has one too many offensive, down right nasty, depictions of black people to ignore. At the same time, I thought the story about how cruel human beings are couldn't be denied.

Per usual, I saw it, because I needed to get out of the house. I remembered the fascinating premiere when I was watching another movie. I was thinking then: a major sci-fi film set in South Africa, alrighty-now!

This was easily one of the best sci-fi films of the year. However, it must come second to Star Trek, because the racism fail was too glaring. I mean, you know it was bad when people clapped at the death of a black character, and remained silent at the death of a white who was equally a bad character.

Without giving away too much of this film: an Office-type, South African bureaucrat, self-important, bigoted moron, named Wikus Van De Merwe (convincingly and superbly played by Sharlto Copley) makes a big mistake during his job to evict aliens from the shanty town they were living in.

The aliens (derisively called "Prawns") have a ginourmous space ship, which stalled over Johannesburg 28 years ago. MNU, which serves as the architype of the typical, evil, greedy, amoral, psychopathic organization or corporation, is in charge of the aliens.

At first, these beings were welcomed, but over time are treated worse than the blacks (of South Africa) used to be. Take your pick of oppressed minorities segregated from the mainstream of society, shunted to a reservation, a concentration camp, experimented on, abused and maligned, and you get the gist of what's going on.

People have questions as to why the aliens couldn't easily get out of their predicament. I look at it this way: when a plane crashes, could anyone - even if everyone survives - realistically rebuild the plane? I've been to the Air and Space Musuem, it is not that easily. Hasn't anyone watched Lost, and realized that?

Next, the alien leaders of the ship was gone. I could point to many parallels as to what humans are like when the top 10%-20% do not guide their populace in the right direction. Let's not kid ourselves, it's the top of the bell curve that runs the human race.

Our man, Wikus, is not a hero. He never becomes a hero. At least, in my eyes. He acts bravely when it would help his cause. This to me, made the film extremely honest about the motivations of persons like himself. He may be the average guy: never going to stick out his neck, until it's his neck that's on the block.

This film didn't depress me, but I thought about how clear eyed it was about how we would treat visitors from outer space if they needed us. The history of how humans have treated each other makes me feel that the aliens should have, or must keep on going on, and forget about us. The word humane and humanity is really a joke.

I look forward to the sequel.

Moon

2009-07-19T16:50:00.004-04:00


Granted, Eric McCormack (left) is tanned and very well groomed, but these guys (Sam Rockwell - right) look exactly alike to me.

This film got me out of the house. I love science fiction films.

Moon reminded me so much of 2001. I love quiet, thought provoking, plot-gently-moving-along films.

It was quite a switch from the high-octane levels and rather loud Star Trek, Terminator and Transformers.

Part of me is sad that we aren't on the moon or Mars. I sincerely believe we (humankind) should have focused on space travel a long time ago. There's something sclerotic, stagnant, and devolving about our refusal to proceed with science in this direction.

Plot: A man is on the moon, and he's patiently waiting until his three year contract ends. He starts to see things and wonders if he's going crazy. And then things start to get interesting during the last two weeks of his service.

The main (and only) character is Sam Bell (play by Sam Rockwell). I thought it was the guy from Will and Grace. Will was played by Eric McCormack, so obviously not.

Two things I note: Sam's got really long eyelashes and a nice tush.

Science (fiction) interest: I did not understand what was being harvested on the moon, and later converted to Helium 3 as an energy source. However, it's a fascinating introductory topic for me. I have to search and see whether it is feasible and true.

Transformers: Rise of the Fallen

2009-07-04T16:08:00.011-04:00

BumbleBee is my favorite transformer.

I broke down and saw it, but only because I was so bored.

Please don't ask me what Transformers: Rise of the Fallen was about. I just watch these things for the pure joy of watching objects get blown up, destroyed, and suspending my disbelief over sheer stupidity for nearly three hours.

A blank mind can accomplish a lot of things.

I read the hoopla over purported racism and sexism embedded deeply into this film. Not so. I don't know who, or what, Mudflaps and Skids are supposed to represent, but as a thinking person of African descent - I ain't claiming them.

See, for me, it is racism if I decided that these robotic, computer generated images actually represent black males. The thing is, I've never come across a black male that has sounded like, or acted like, Mudflaps and Skids. Can't be angry with something I don't identify with, or recognize.

I'm reminded of some Disney films where black crows, hyenas, and other strange animals are racist images, because the cartoons were supposed to represent black people.

Oh, hell no.

Sure, it may be intentionally offensive, but that doesn't mean one has to claim the negative images. I say, let it belong to those who create it. Looking at those images now, wouldn't one notice that there aren't any people who actually speak in that fashion? Lingo and behavior changes. Today's misdirected insult, becomes yesterday's wacky, distasteful, and stupid piece of work.

I'm not saying that there are scenes in the movie a person couldn't be reasonably be upset with. But to get mad at computer generated image of robots / cars that don't resemble people? No.

I did feel bad for John Turturro. Not sure why his hair, or his character, which I liked by the way, had to be denigrated. But then again, men sometimes speak roughly to one another. I guess one of the themes of the film was to celebrate male, juvenile, silliness: "Boys will be boys, and say nasty things to one another!"

I liked the latest Decepticon: an amalgamation of several construction heavy-duty trucks. Cute.

Megan Fox looked greasy-faced at times. Shia LaBeouf looked very, very, stressed, I don't think it was acting either.

The movie, like any film by Michael Bay was very pro-military, and about getting the big guns out (pun intended). I have no problem with that. Although, I was surprised to hear President Obama's name mentioned; it was a very strange inclusion.

Otherwise, most of the dialogue was stupid. This film could be watched on mute. It'd probably make more sense that way.

I think that's about it. The film was funny in some places. There was enough action, and momentum to make the 2.5 hours seem reasonable (it was not).

All in all, one of the loudest films I've seen this year. Although I think it ties with Terminator: Salvation Junkyard for noisiest.

Josh Duhamel looked hot in this film. I guess that's what happens when there's only one really good looking guy in the whole movie.

FanFiction: I can't stand Kirk slash Spock

2009-06-29T22:47:00.008-04:00

I used to wonder at the joke William Shatner did with SNL about Trekkies needing to get a life. I thought it was rather mean at the time. I couldn't understand as to what specifically he may have been talking about.

I was so out of the loop.

I was curious about the reaction to the reboot of Star Trek. I go hunting online for more information. This film is often referred to as Star Trek XI. I found a lovely assortment of stories about all of the characters, and then I noticed that some people were fixated on Kirk and Spock having sex.

I've watched everything from the original to the last horrid Star Trek (TNG) film where Data was blown up and replaced by a dumber version. That effectively killed off the TNG franchise and nearly everything else Star Trek. Plus, continuing the movie's story line was a waste with nowhere to go, not with the crew being chunky or overweight, getting old, and the TV show having already mined all of the best material.

I'm not a nut for canon, because everything gets bought by Hollywood, the studios own the rights, and they do whatever they want to make a profit. Right? The goal is a profit. If the fans are happy, I'm sure that is a plus. As shown with all the comic books made into movies, there's been a lot of hits and plenty of misses.

I have to say it's hard to watch a movie when there's some expectation that everyone knows the backstory. It never works. Either the film makers explain as much as possible, or the film will bomb. Balance between the purists and a new audience seems to be a difficult task. Any material I've read, I rarely would want to see the movie, unless it's exact and the book made everything clear, or it brings something new and fresh.

But I gotta say, what is up with the homosexual fixation on two men who simply cannot just work closely together and be good friends? And you wonder why the military doesn't want them? Sorry. I'm not interested in being politically correct here.

I think this theme grew based on the TOS. For some reason, even though Kirk is the most self-centered, narcissistic, gung-ho heterosexual, skirt chasing guy around, he's really a homosexual? And logical, emotionally controlled Spock is too?

Tsk. Dudes and dudettes. That same sexing thing is just not there. It is in your alternative reality warped minds. I feel sorry for hetersexual men today. They must feel like everyone believes they can't be close friends with other men, because it must be sexual. So, every moist hole needs to be plundered? How did 2% of the population end up occupying 95% of media content these days anyway?

Today, nearly every TV show or movies is homosexual-lesbian-positive. It is virtually inescapable. So I am not sure why people need to insert it (pun intended) where it doesn't exist.

So, I avoid reading these Kirk slash Spock fanfiction. However, I end up finding them based on dishonest subterfuge.

I don't appreciate the lunatics who write a false lead pretending that the story is about Uhura / Spock, when the story begins or ends with them breaking up.

Just write your homosexual fanfiction and leave Uhura out of it. Okay?

Nasty bunch of misogynists.

Netflix: I like the service, but....

2009-06-25T22:48:00.006-04:00

I have my Netflix account on suspend, but I think I may have to cancel. I could always resume it at any time. I've done it before. I just feel I have to put my entertainment watching into high hiatus.

The last film I went out to watch was Terminator, and part of me regrets the decision. That was 2 hours of my life I'll never get back. There are so many other things I could have done, and have to do. Lesson learned.

Films don't give me the buzz they used to. Frankly, Hollywood ain't churning out the goodies like they used to.

That gambit by upping the number of Best Film contenders to 10 for an Oscar is a heaping, steaming, pile of bull dung, joke. I don't know, does that help the obscure foreign-themed films or the big budget, over-the-top, most popular, blockbusters?

I don't care, since I have not watched the Oscars since I was a child. That was a really long time ago. The excitement isn't there. I dislike most of today's "stars", unless it is a hot new actor from Australia / New Zealand / Europe. I will like an actor (any guy, none in particular) just as he is starting to become famous, but before he becomes bloated with self-importance, obnoxious, crazy, and phones in a lame performance.

I was checking film previews to see if Hollywood has any movies with black women co-stars coming up. There were none that I could see, so the Media Industrial Complex isn't getting any money from me.

Only two things get me into the theaters: hot guys and normal, respectable acting sistas. I don't like ghetto flicks, misery movies (abuse stories), gangster films, or anything else I may consider too stupid to watch.

These movies I will cite as examples: Dance Flick and the upcoming Push. I don't care how many awards the latter has won and will win. That's not me, I don't identify with stories like that; I never did. I've never read The Bluest Eye or Beloved.

Not my thing.

Since there are no films in the theaters I want to see, then that means there won't be any I will see on Netflix.

Yeah, I think I will cancel it.

Terminator: Salvation Junkyard

2009-06-04T22:42:00.008-04:00

The original Terminator film frightened me. It was scary. It gave me goosebumps, all because it was a low-key horror movie.

The sequels do not frighten, because they never pause to take a breath. The films rush through everything. There's nary a moment allowing the characters to contemplate how numbing, and terrifying, it would be to have an unstoppable, calculating and scheming killing machine pursuing them.

These follow-up movies are mildly engaging, generically amusing, and kinda boring overall. It's all about explosions, gun fire, devastating and earth shattering wreckage, and blowing up buildings.

Yawn. I think they should leave a lot of these pyrotechnics for the video games. Yeah, people pay for the bombs. I get it.

All of the producers of the franchise films seem unaware of what made the first film so riveting (although it was not an absolute commercial success).

Here's a clue: Arnold Schwarzenegger's character was an unrelenting, unemotional, and unsentimental robot. He had only one task to perform.

That movie was as chilling and creepy as watching Psycho.

I couldn't resist throwing the word 'junkyard' in the post heading. The desolate themes throughout the movie, reminded me of Road Warrior (I must rent that, haven't seen that crazy classic in a long time!), and Resident Evil: Extinction. The robots, especially the giant one that harvested humans reminded me of War of the Worlds and Star Wars: The Rotten Prequels.

Plot pivots: was it a Superman or Jesus Christ thingy going on? Oh, right. It was a hint at our possible immortality. So, that made Marcus Wright (I'm sure there's a meaning in that name, but I'm a bit dull right now in sorting it out) akin to a demi-god for this flick.

Marcus could have chosen to be immortal, as a cyborg, but what made him human was his heart.

It's scary how fast the future (prosthetic body parts, rapidly healing, etc., etc.) is coming at us.

Did I mention that Sam Worthington, who plays Marcus Wright is hawt? Like really smoking hot? This picture does his handsome mug no justice. Delicious. Slurp.

Interesting how the best looking actors are coming out of New Zealand and Australia these days. Must be something in the air, food or water.

I must visit soon!

Oh right, about the movie. I had to run out a few times, but the first hour is all about Marcus (Sam), so that's the best thing I can say about the flick. Christian Bale (John Connor) barks throughout the film. He's too damn stoic. The cuties in this film were: Jadagrace and Anton Yelchin (lucky kid, he was in Star Trek too).

Boy, is McG a lazy director or what? Did he not notice these guys slipping back into their regional accents on occasion? I wont mention the enormous amount of inconsistencies in the film sequences. For example: in one scene Connor's shoe has been tossed far and wide, yet in the very next one, it's on again.

Worth seeing again? When it's on DVD, sure, but a repeat at the theater? Nope.

However, the special effects were awesome. The CGI was so realistic that I couldn't tell what was fake, and usually I could tell.

Overall, not bad, but not great either.

Star Trek: What If?

2009-05-23T23:47:00.008-04:00

The original Star Trek gang. Uhura is enough. No other "women" are needed.

Star Trek was an excellent movie. Saw it three times. Might see it a fourth time. Will definitely buy the DVD when it comes out.

I've been reading some of the commentary and fan fiction regarding this reboot of Star Trek.

I'm amused by the request for more women in the lead. Oh, but which type of women?

Oh, I see. Uhura wasn't enough for these folks. Was it because she wasn't a woman of the right hue?

I see through these people who are pretending to be nick picky with the movie. The film was re-introducing us to the same characters from the original television program, which was seven people at its core.

Oh, but room must be made for more women characters. If Uhura was a white chick with blond hair, like on every other bloody damn movie and television show, there wouldn't be that kind of whining demand coming down the pike.

These folks ain't nothing, but a bunch of greedy, narcissistic, and selfish wenches.

I've decided to outline my own version of this new Star Trek if it was written by, and for, the few people who appreciate and love Battlestar Galactica. That show's two hour pilot and first season was marvelous, then over the following years the quality, intelligence, and coherence rapidly goes down hill. Sorta like how Heroes, and Lost, suffered the same fate.

The following is a sarcastic fan fiction summary of what would have made those "oh, but more (white) women, please" whiners happy. Regardless of Star Trek canon, we must satisfy the demands for (white) women being stars of this story.

In case you haven't noticed, white women, especially anorexic blonds, are a necessary evil in every entertainment program today. Even though their last minute additions, or central characters, have no additional net positive effect on ratings.

Oh well, somebody's gotta promote that white supremacy.

You must be familiar with the recent movie Star Trek, and tv show BSG, to get some of my points.

When Nero encounters the USS Kelvin, Captain Robau is a woman. She would be brown-haired and white, not a very handsome and gorgeous Eastern brown-skinned actor.
If she was an alien like those in Star Trek: TNG, then she would be a (white) actress with a heavy ridged forehead and some tattoos.
Nero, the Romulan, doesn't kill her, he keeps her hostage. I'll state why later.
George Kirk doesn't get the glory in this re-write by those who require more (white) women characters. Nope. He's not even first officer. His pregnant wife, Winona, is. However, she makes George take her place on the suicide mission. This is to ensure that she receives all of the accolades for saving those 800 people, not George.
James Kirk is a woman in this reboot. He's been renamed Jaime, but still keeps Tiberius (as a middle name) to help keep it real. He, I mean she, would look the same, be much thinner, have a five o'clock shadow, square jaw, and be as obnoxious and promiscuous - which is a very important characteristic for a (white) woman leading character - as the original Kirk.
Yet, in this case, Jaime would be considered "hot", "kick-ass", a "blond beauty" for her masculine, aggressive, and manly ways. Jaime would have breasts (maybe). We'd know Jaime is a woman, because the crew would periodically refer to this character as "she." Oh, and by the way, everyone wants to do her, because Jaime has blue eyes and blond hair. That's always, always, always the case, and don't you fer-git-it! Why, even Uhura came onto her at that bar in Iowa!
Spock never re-assigns Uhura to the USS Enterprise. She would never be seen again since she'd disappear with the rest of the fleet that left before the Enterprise. He has no reaction to news of her death, thus making those greedy, narcissistic, and selfish wenches happy.
Instead, Gaila, the "green" chick, would be on the Enterprise. Ergo, she'd be the second hottest (white) woman on the ship after Jaime.
Tyler Perry makes his cameo dressed as Madea. This is the preferable way for a black woman to appear in the media, with a 6'4" black male ridiculously "acting" as one.
Sulu and Chekhov would be an openly gay couple, or Chekhov would be another (white) woman. Take your pick.
Spock obviously has the hots for Jaime, because they argue throughout the whole movie.
Nero still vaporizes Vulcan, but it is Spock's father, Sarek, who dies. His mother, Amanda, lives. Although he loses a planet of his people, he's not as upset as he is in the reboot movie version. Spock's mother is alive, therefore keeping another important (white) woman in the story.
Pike stays a man. Gotta have at least one dick in the lead. Unfortunately, he's held, Federation Security information is extracted, and he is promptly, grotesquely, and rather violently dispatched.
Spock and Jaime fight. Unsurprisely, the big bitch fights the Vulcan to a draw. It's possible, right? Haven't we seen enough BullShitGalore, and other entertainment, to know a female can beat a male even if he's a super-strong alien?
Nothing much changes in these scenes: Prime Spock meets Jaime Kirk. He says, "We were more than friends," and brain dumps their entire special, special history into Jaime's big ol' empty head, not just the time travel, black hole stuff. This also makes the mentally challenged shippers of Kirk/Spock very happy.
Entering the final stretch: Jaime Kirk and Spock are getting set to leave and save everyone. Yet, not before Jaime looks at Spock and says, "I know how you really feel about me." Cause everybody wants Jaime: Ms Blond Blue Eyed Super-thin Mannish Five-O'clock Shadow Square Jaw Hyper-Aggressive Can-Keep-Up-With-The-Boys Woman. She's just soooooooooooooo hot, and sexy.
Quickly, Spock and Jaime exchange open mouth slobbering wet drooly kisses, panting, groping, exchanging much spit, before they are transported to the Romulan ship.
They find out Pike is dead, and scrape up the pieces to bring back the body.
As an added bonus they find Captain Robau, who's pregnant with her umpteenth child.
Why is she pregnant? Following commonly ridiculous, absolutely stupid, and retarded sci-fi tropes, the Romulans decide they want / need / desire / lust / crave Earth (white) women to re-start their race. Although, in this case, it is not necessary, Romulus still exists. However, even though they may view humans as inferior, just one look at a (white) woman turns their pointy-eared heads. Remember, Romulans are the extremely passionate Vulcan-types.
The Enterprise beams all those half-Romulan/half-Human chil'ren on board. A hysterical Captain Robau, with her many chil'ren - some of who are adults and staffed the Romulan ship, watches as her man Nero gets sucked into a black hole, and blown to hell.
Quietly, she vows revenge on Jaime Kirk, providing the flimsy pretext for a sequel.
The film bombs at the theaters, but the die-hards tell themselves that no one appreciates quality (ha!) sci-fi movies.

See, how easy and predictable that was?

That's why most of these "put more (white) women" in the story demands are lame. It would just be the same stupid stuff polluting most multi-character stories.

Frankly, if they add another woman, make her Asian, I'd like to see how those wenches behave then.

Best Movie of the Year: Sin Nombre

2009-04-26T14:35:00.006-04:00

I have been cutting back on my movie watching. I've put Netflix on suspend, and I've vowed not to see any major film releases this year, except probably for Disney's Black Princess cartoon coming out either later this year, or next.

I saw this movie down in Washington, DC, when I stayed the weekend. I attempted to see another film, which was part of Filmfest DC. However, Machan was sold out. Since I was on the hook for parking, I decided to see something, anything, to use up the time. I ended up watching Sin Nombre. Why? It had the shortest play time.

Nevertheless, it was a serendipitous and excellent pick. It was directed by Cary Fukunaga. If I had a movie to make, I'd pick this person.

I didn't know what was going on, until half-way through the film. The subtitles weren't an issue, my Spanish is poor, but some of the words were understandable and a few were English colloquialisms. Hollywood rarely builds up the story to the movie's half-way point. The first scene is usually climatic, forcing one to pay attention.

Sin Nombre does not insult one's intelligence. It gave every major character a back story, in real time, without any fancy flashbacks, irritating voice overs, rapid jump cuts, or other tried and true gimmicks. A long and deliberate story helps one to understand the motivations and behavior of everyone. No exceptions.

Slowly, one is drawn into the central story: immigrants who are heading north through Mexico's treacherous streets to make it to the USA, or New Jersey to be exact. Inevitably, they will clash with malicious gangs who are there to take advantage of them. There are many, many death defying hurdles they go through just to make it to America.

I was reminded that I live in a country so many people are willing to die to get to. I also enjoyed watching men do everything they can to protect and serve their families. The definition of family isn't just the traditional either. Fascinating.

Sin Nombre movie was beguiling to me, because Sayra's (Paulina Gaitan) father, looked like someone I've seen before out here in New Jersey. Unfortunately, I didn't catch his character's name. He's a handsome little guy too. I watched the film knowing his character was going to die; I only wondered how.

The main character, Willy aka El Casper (Edgar Flores) eventually goes on the run from his gang. He ends up with Sayra's immigrant group heading to the border. It's hard to believe this is the young man's second acting gig. Wow.

It was weird for me watching the film, everyone felt familiar and strange at the same time. I'll credit that to a great script, wonderful and very realistic "acting." I have, and have always had, Spanish people in my family and as friends.

On another note, the sexiest guy in the film was the menacing and lethal, El Sol (Luis Fernando Peña).

Part of me was sorta miffed, sad, and a tad bit envious. I realized that quality black American themed films do not exist. Why? And will they ever return?

Another part of me was glad I saw this film. It was a treat to have this one to last me for a long while.

Diary of a Mad Black Woman

2009-03-02T22:52:00.007-05:00

Through no will of my own, I found myself watching Diary of a Mad Black Woman with some friends and associates. This was the first time, ever, I watched a Tyler Perry movie. I am not a cultural, film, or art snob. I hate any sense of exclusivity regarding culture, there's something for everyone - I believe. However, I do prefer, and enjoy foreign films compared to the putrid "entertainment" distributed by Hollywood: that rancid racist/sexist Industrial Media Complex.

In short, Diary is about a woman, Helen (Kimberly Elise), so devoted to her upper class lawyer husband, Charles (Steve Harris) through eighteen years of marriage, that when he abandons her for a light, nearly-white woman!, she apparently loses her sense of self. This situation makes her an angry black woman, and in case we didn't realize it she tells us!

However, Helen quickly finds a new love (insert eye roll here) named Orlando (Shemar Moore); a pretty light skinned iron welding, working-class brotha! He keeps dropping so much truth on her about herself! He's edjumucated with street knowledge. If only she could see how real Orlando is.

Unfortunately, Helen has to temporarily abandon this down-to-earth-working-class-keepin'-it-real-brotha when she is able to gain some measure of revenge on her wicked mean husband. The revenge scheme doesn't last longer than a hot minute, and Helen's able to find a new spirit of self through forgiveness. Or something like that.

Why, there's even a church scene near the end, where all will be well. Everyone gets to holler, I mean sing, about Jesus and will find redemption.

Apparently, Tyler Perry man is the only living and breathing black American to have his own movie studio. I thought Oprah has one too, but maybe I'm looking at the wrong definition of being able to produce entertainment for the small (TV), or big screen (movie distribution deals).

He has had incredible success with a character named Madea, which I suspect is something of an alter-ego for this man. Madea gets to be, along with Joe (played by Perry also), offensive, vulgar, obnoxious, pathological, morally and physically unattractive, which is the funny. The pistol packing, wild behavior, morals free, anti-social Madea, gets to do all and be all, and is so hilarious in doing so.

Being an older black woman supposedly makes Madea free to do as she pleases. Say what?

This character, the obnoxious black woman, started with Eddie Murphy. I know people want to point to Geraldine by Flip Wilson, but I can say that the character was fussy, classy, sexy, coy, attractive, and truly funny. Geraldine was about being desirable, and still doing what she liked without breaking a nail.

There's really no comparison to what was then, and what gets portrayed now.

I know people who love all the creative works by Tyler Perry; I can't find fault with them. It works for them. Not everyone is looking for highbrow, intelligent, serious or thought provoking film. I know I don't.

Yet, I draw the line at many of these tired, highly influential, and constantly negative portrayal of black women. It's a sore point for me: it robs me of my humanity. These images carry worldwide influence. Trust me, they do.

Until every other television program and movie shows black women as the attractive and desirable girl next door to rebut the uncouth, unsociable, harridan - I'm not contributing to these creator's bottom line.

Next time this film, or any other like it, comes up, I'll have other things to do.

Perfume: Story of a Murderer

2009-01-27T17:47:00.006-05:00

This film is about Jean-Baptiste Grenouille, a 17th Century serial killer with superior olfactory sense. If you've ever watched Dracula by Brian de Palma, I think you'll get the idea.

I read the novel, Perfume: The Story of a Murderer, dozens of years ago. It was a best-seller translated from German. I thought the book was dynamite, enthralling, very unusual, and damn strange. I had always enjoyed books topically about killers, thrillers, and scarily strange events.

It's about a young man, a fifth child who lived after four were stillborn, to a fishery woman in a Parisian marketplace. His sense of smell rivaled a bloodhound. I could almost identify with this character (except for the desire to kill to distill a scent). I too, have a strong olfactory sense (when I've paid attention).

The following are personal examples: at work, I knew who was in the building based on their smell. It wasn't hard. I could smell smokers, those who saturated themselves in perfume (women), those who had infections that gave me too much information about them (you know, that fishy odor), and many other examples.

I picked up the scent of those who were ill: it forced me to ask, delicately, if anyone noted this particular smell. No one caught it, but me. A headcold smelled a bit like Ajax, or that kind of household cleanser, but with a tinge of funk. These working stiffs with stinky heads had sinusitis or a sinus infection. There's always someone at the office with it.

Then there were women who smelled - gosh, I didn't work at smelling them - yet this odor wafted over the walls from their cubicles. There was this kind of funk that smelled a bit of moldy bread, perspiration, something rancid, and musk (perfume to bury the odor). I would reckon that this individual was sick. Last, but not least, ever caught a whiff of someone smelling of salts? I used to know an old woman on my block like that: my Mom said she had sores on her body.

Yeah, I guess?

This movie was filled with attractive blue-eyed, pale-skinned redheads. Hollywood should use more of them. These were women whose scent Jean-Baptiste couldn't resist and needed.

It's a good work of fiction, because I've never encountered one woman who ever smelled appealing - regardless of pores soaked with perfumes.

Men, Yes, but women? No.

The entire film is based on the process he goes through to capture the scent of a woman. Strange. Yet, very riveting and amusing to boot. This will definitely not be everyone's cup of tea.

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-01-19T15:27:00.005-05:00

I hated this movie, because I loved it so much. I hate films that make me cry. I'm a sucker for movies that show the worst and best of people. It was soooo raw. It made me cry to see children in that kind of extreme poverty. This lifestyle has them pegged slumdogs. Yet, these kids are tough, clever, smart, spunky, and adorable: brown skin, curly hair with such big long lashed eyes.

They are survivors.

Latika, Jamal and Salim Malik are the main characters of this movie (based on the book Q&A). If you've ever watched, or read, any Charles Dickens' story, such as Oliver Twist, then this tale fits right in.

We see these children grow to young adults, so the actors who play them add up to nine individuals. As young adults the characters are portrayed by the following: Dev Patel as Jamal, Freida Pinto as Latika (an incredibly beautiful woman), and Salim, who strangely looks like Michael Jackson from his Off the Wall album, is played by Madhur Mittal.

The heart of this story is a love that begins in childhood and never ends. This movie is not sappy. It isn't maudlin. It is about kids who live their lives, without self-pity, without blame, and oddly enough without anger. Extreme poverty and cruelty towards them did not leave them bereft of decency, honestly, or humanity.

I found that aspect interesting, since Western culture loves to have ready made exercises for bad behavior. We seem to have devolved into a no-fault, no-blame, no-shame, and no-responsibility society.

This movie was wholesome, because it was so bald about these children's lives. It's honesty.

I loved the soundtrack, but then again music by A.R Rahman is always pretty phenomenal. This movie was directed by Danny Boyle and Loveleen Tandan. The film was edited by Chris Dickens (how fitting).

Numb3rs: Nerds Rule!

2009-01-13T14:28:00.005-05:00

Sophina Brown

I really, really like this show. I didn't start to watch it until Sophina Brown from Shark, which was cancelled, appeared on this program.

The stars are David Krumholtz (Charlie Eppes), who plays a math genius and his brother, played by Rob Morrow (Don Eppes) who works for the FBI. Rob Morrow is the everywhere guy. I know his name, and I feel like I've seen him in every show, even if I cannot name them.

I originally avoided this program, because I feared that Charlie's character was going to be this obnoxious genius that the FBI could not function without. I actually found it to be a pleasant surprise. Charlie explains math in a way I wish I had school teachers like him. It has a nice large multi-ethnic / diverse cast, and no one is a walking or talking stereotype.

It also has two hot hunks to balance out the nerds: Alimi Ballard and Dylan Bruno. Hmm, yummy.

Ballard

Bruno

Talk about a late, yet very pleasant discovery.

The show is produced by British brothers, Tony Scott and Ridley Scott, both directors, and of the best in Hollywood. They have made plenty of films with a diverse cast. One is responsible for Alien (Ridley) and the other Tony, Man on Fire (I loved this flick).

I watch past episodes, from years back, via Netflix (instant watch), and the more recent via the CBS web site.

For 2009 - If Only Hollywood Would Consider These Changes

2009-01-02T21:44:00.002-05:00

Keep all scenes dry: no more rain, please. I would like to see a film, especially if it is romantic, without people standing around in the rain. I don't care why - they add nothing to a scene. All it shows is a lack of imagination.

Often, I'll watch these programs thinking: they're going to catch a cold! And eww, smelly wet hair!

No more kissing: it is disgusting to hear people smooch and lip smack. Let the viewers use their imagination. I don't want to see the filthy germ exchange.

I would ban kissing in films if I had the power.

The minority sidekick to the white woman: it needs to stop. It's so lame. We all don't have an inner Oprah to tap to offer words of wisdom. Enough with the "sassy" minority woman who's gonna to take on the world to make things easy and accommodating for the "clueless" white chick (or man).

It happened with Kate Hudson in Raising Helen, I wanted to choke the director and scriptwriter(s).

Whatever happened to black or minority sitcoms? I grew up watching shows with a black cast on television with my family. Now, all that's really available are re-runs on some cable networks. I think Lincoln Heights is the exception, but I still find the violence on the program excessive and disturbing.

I don't need to see these programs, Kyle XY is my favorite, but a little variety would be nice. Not everyone wants to watch a program about vapid, bleach blond twits from Beverly Hills.

Is there a blond (any white) woman quota in Hollywood? One day I may do an actual head count. Off the top of my head, I can't think of one program on television, or movie, that doesn't have a white woman in it. She's included whether her character is integral to the plot or not. It's weird, sometimes they are brought on just because .... Some do nothing to advance the story line.

For example, Heroes can't let go of Ali Larter. Although, I do like her. There are many, many story lines with other characters that would have made the show coherent. So many have been left unresolved. But nooooooo, they keep her, regardless of whether it muddles the stupidity factor of the show by a factor of ten.

Must there be a gun in nearly every film or TV show? Yes, some of us Americans are gun-totting nuts, but a good story doesn't need one either. How about just implying that people have one, and not show it?

Not everyone who watches media entertainment is a 14 year old teenager who requires violence to stay interested in a program.

Please scale back the CGI effects. I can tell when it's used, and it still doesn't look convincing or interesting. People can't outrun a flood, rushing or rising waters. People can't survive a twenty-story waterfall in a ship, a car, or alone.

I won't even go into the impossible stunts that the human body cannot perform. You know, those scenes where people can survive a head-on car accident, without seat belts, at 30+ mph.

Please, please, please make the actors audible. I know you enjoy loud music, and make most films for an international audience. However, I'd still like to pretend that dialogue is important to a movie. It'd be fun to know what's going on.

The incoherent mumbling and overly loud, overly dramatic music needs to stop.

Make it illegal for George Lucas to release another Star Wars film. It's for the good of us all. He's made enough money. Star Wars is deeply entrenched into our modern culture. He can be proud, and not frightened by any thought that it will be forgotten.

George, you can go away now. Thanks.

I would include Star Trek, but I'm biased, so I'm ready for more of that sameness.

Make accessible 24/7 every Hollywood film ever made.

Every film made over the last 30 years old should be in the public domain. Congress and the Supreme Court needs to stop with this extra 100 year extension of copyrights every time it expires.

It's not right.

Is Will Smith Depressed?

2008-12-20T15:34:00.006-05:00

I have not seen his latest, Seven Pounds, but the topic appears morbid and much too somber. The ads aren't upbeat. Will Smith looks miserable. Not a good sign.

I know he probably wants to stretch his acting skills, or talent. I notice actors who start with comedic and non-serious roles almost always want to take that next step, and get all artsy fartsy, boring us to death with how oh-so-serious and somber he can pretend to be. Jim Carrey anyone?

I get it. Not.

I enjoyed, tolerated, and suffered through Hancock (Sometimes I cannot stand Charlize Theron, I find her as puke-worthy nauseating as Nicole Kidman.) and I Am Legend. I thought the special effects were disappointing. Why not use real people to make it realistic? I wasn't the least bit scared by that film.

Without a doubt, The Pursuit of Happyness was an instant classic. Watching Will Smith show his inner hustle made it real. You sense that he enjoys being a workhorse. I also think that was the last time Will Smith had a real black woman, or half-African, co-starring with him.

I ain't mad at him though. I do note films he produces starring black men and women. I laugh at how people complain that he's not doing enough for black people. He does a lot. They're just not paying attention.

Am I complaining? Nope, not at all. I enjoyed seeing his performance in Six Degrees of Separation. I even time looped the scene where he's caught butt nekked in bed with a guy. I am always inspired by a naked Will Smith. He never fails to disappoint in that area.

I remember those early scenes in I, Robot (my favorite of all his films, since it was the robot I enjoyed so much) with Mr. Smith taking a shower. Made the whole film worthwhile. Yessiree.

I'm not gonna head shrink the guy, and I can't, but if this is his mid-life crisis, I would recommend some family friendly comedies. Hitch, overall is my second favorite of his films. It has no guns, relatively little violence, which are only of the comedic sort. I can't even recall any profanity.

I laughed long and hard when Will clocked Eva Mendes (I like her) into the water. He also took her to Ellis Island expecting her to be impressed. Turns out that butcher was a literal, not vocational, description of her ancestor. Hilarious.

I think those kind of films would help. And who doesn't like to laugh?

Jason Statham Strips in Transporter 3

2008-12-05T17:38:00.007-05:00

Yeah, baby take that shirt off!

Frank Martin (Jason Statham) brings his sexy back! I've watched almost every film this hunky Neanderthal Brit has appeared in. Love dis dude.

Our hero, at first, refused to take the transport job offered by this bad ass American villain (a funny twist, since it's always the Brit that's the bad guy) played by Johnson (Robert Knepper). The funniest line in the movie is when Johnson says he's a "pacifist."

The Transporter, Frank Martin takes the job, because he has no choice. He was knocked out and strapped to a bomb. His walk-about range is limited by the bomb synched to the car he drives.

The other star of this movie is the Audi. This awesome car makes its appearance again, as it does in all these films. I think these films are excellent two hour commercials for this automobile. It makes me want one! I am one woman who loves to drive.

Frank, at first doesn't understand why he has a young woman, freckly red headed Valentina (Natalya Rudakova) as a passenger. She turns out to be the daughter of the President of Ukraine.

The total plot: the bad American Johnson is using the Valentina as leverage to force the President of Ukraine to accept toxic waste. As with all action flicks there is 24 hour deadline for the President to sign the deal and Frank Martin to save the day.

I still liked the first Transporter the best, but this one has absolutely beautiful scenes of Europe, which makes me want to visit those particular spots.

Even though I think my home theater is awesome, nothing beats the big screen, at least not yet.

Transformers

2008-11-20T18:16:00.007-05:00

Back in the day, I'd watch this cartoon religiously. Don't ask me all the details! I don't remember everything as well as some people. However, when Optimus Prime was killed, (he came back as a ghost) I was seriously hurt by that. I cried! I love that voice. I was mad too, because his group of robots always seemed weak and kinda wack to me.

How can you have an awesome, can-do-almost-anything group of robots, and was always getting your butts kicked and outsmarted by the Decepticons?

The film was enjoyable simply because I find Shia LaBeouf so damn cute. I don't mean sexually, I mean, smooch his cheeks, and hug him, cute. Like I do with my half-grown, over 6 feet tall nephews.

I watched the DVD, 'cause no one was going to catch me watching this thing in the theatres. It's a teen boy flick. Films like this are made for them. I know it certainly wasn't made for black women such as myself. The only time black women were shown: as the silent wife of Bernie Mack, which he felt he needed to curse at, and the hectoring nosy busybody of Anthony Anderson's grandmother.

I won't get into how being rude and disrespectful to black women in a blockbuster film is supposed to be entertainment. It is not.

Do people need to start being taken out for this message to reach the critters that run the Media Industrial Complex?

The plot: many years ago the grandfather of Sam Witwicky (Why this name? I don't get the joke) found a frozen Megatron (leader of the evil Decepticons), and an all powerful cube. Therefore, everyone must chase Shia LaBeouf (Sam Witwicky) and Megan Fox (not a blonde and rather pretty!) around for 2 hours.

Hilarity! sometimes ensued. I like to see things blown up: har, har, har.

It took me a while to recognize Tyrese. Man, he's gotten big. I mean that in a good way. I don't get the fanfare (fanlust, rather) over Josh Duhamel. There he was, a sort of G.I. Joe character. Tyrese was the black G.I. Joe.

Black male characters say the same things as the white guys, but are required to do it with slang and more flavor. Rinse and repeat.

This is part one, of how many films I don't know, or care to. I expect perhaps two more, since Hollywood wants to milk out the big bucks. However, they never do a good job with multiple film story arcs, since most franchises run out of steam by the second flick.

I'll watch the ensuing films - maybe, but I don't expect much. I never did watch any more Harry Potter films after the first one.

The Last King of Scotland

2008-08-12T18:25:00.006-04:00

Forrest Whitaker is awesome. Period.

This film is supposed to be about Idi Amin, seen through the eyes of a nascent Scottish doctor. Granted, James McAvoy plays a cute, naive, and well intentioned Dr. Nicholas Garrigan. He doesn't realize how deep the doo-doo he's in, until it is nearly too late.

In my humble opinion, Forrest Whitaker owns this movie from the moment he appears on screen. He's compelling, scary, unpredictable, canny, and paranoid. One wonders what he's going to do next.

This Idi Amin has a menacing quality mixed with latent charm. Why? The guy is huge. He makes Dr. Garrigan (McAvoy) a child, in every sense of the word.

For me, there is no other reason to watch this film than to see Forrest Whitaker's performance.

Dr. Garrigan likes women, especially native African women. Without giving away the plot, his little head gets him into trouble. Big trouble.

Kerry Washington, as always, was lovely in this film. She plays Amin's third wife, Kay.

By the way, this film is not a true story.

Educational tip (at least for me): Amin was a Muslim with many wives. I had heard about him, the number of people killed under his rule, and other horror stories. In 2003, after living in exile and comfort in Saudi Arabia, he passed away. Got that? Unlike the thousands of people he had slaughtered, this dictator died of old age.

Useless fan fact: As an ex-New Yorker, I've seen my share of the famous.

I saw Forrest Whitaker, many many years ago in Manhattan. There he was strolling down 9th Avenue, a big guy with no entourage. What I can recall, and liked the most about him, is that he did not wear a, 'You know who I am?' smirk on his face. Instead, he makes eye contact, and that's it. Nice.

The Dark Knight

2008-08-04T14:57:00.006-04:00

I expected to see more of Health Ledger as The Joker. I wasn't disappointed by his performance. He wasn't the sole focal point I expected. This movie was a heady-duty ensemble piece. I would say that if they didn't have all these characters the film could have been tighter. The Joker was enough.

The surprise is that the film didn't feel long. With some movies I feel like I should have brought a pillow. Then again, I walk in just as the credits roll or the film starts.

May I say how hot Christian Bale is?

It's a shame too, because there is absolutely no chemistry between Christian Bale and Maggie Gyllenhaal. Zip, zilch, nada. Hey dudes, try a Latina, or black woman next time - at least to make it interesting! Kerry Washington would be a fantastic pick.

Christoperh Nolan, the director, and whoever the producers are, need to study up on the James Bond films. Bond has massive sex appeal - along with being deadly - that's why the franchise has lasted so long. Not saying this film wont break records, I like logical continuity and development of a character.

This movie is excellent. It is, however, not a film for anyone under 13 or 14 years old. There's hardly any blood, but the suggested violence had me flinching, and I'm a veteran of nihilistic gory films.

Aaron Eckhart (another hotness) as Harvey Dent was another "hero" in contrast to Batman. He is day light (knight) - in personality and temperament - to Batman's dark night (knight).

Get it? Wickedly and deliciously, the roles reverse.

Christian Bale's Bruce Wayne shows very little character in this film, unlike the first. To me, he's become one dimensional. I blame it on the movie having too many characters: they weren't necessary. Heath Ledger as The Joker did not steal this film: Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent did.

The contrasts: blond, cleft-chined Harvey Dent was the open, willing, non-masked, non-caped crusader for justice. He was focused on fighting the good fight and he wasn't afraid of dying.

The clever scheme: The Joker was able to make the case, to a fickle public, that The Batman, caped crusader, masked, unknown and protected was the real menace to society and coward.

The conundrum: The Joker cleverly corners Batman. How does one fight a madman who thrives on chaos and violence? The irony of this film - that violence is all Batman has to offer, exposes an elemental flaw.

This Batman is too much brute strength, violence, high tech tools, and not enough brain.

Christopher Nolan forgets that part of Batman's winning appeal and arsenal of weapons is his intelligence. He can give us riveting contrasts to Batman, but he neglects Bruce Wayne's brilliance.

I would appreciate if the next director and writer could remember that Batman isn't just a violent buff vigilante, he's a clever one too.

As always, I'm impressed by British and Australian actors who speak American dialect(s) so flawlessly and easily.

Hollywood is Dead, Long Live Hollywood: The Happening and Get Smart

2008-07-22T11:24:00.006-04:00

These two movies prove that there's something really wrong with the people who "greenlight" films in the Hollywood system. I don't doubt these movies will make a decent and acceptable return on the money the studios put into them.

A Little History

Currently, the films that are emerging from Hollywood remind me of the last two periods in which they were dying: 1950's and 1970's. The 1950's was the first period of slow death due to the advent of television. It also gave us all those "classic" B-films like Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.

The 1970's was a true near death: the original studio system, run by true media moguls, had been completely swallowed up by corporate bean counters. The films produced were nihilistic, pessimistic and violent.

They offered up nearly a decade of "black exploitation" because of the success of Van Peebles' Sweet Sweetback’s Baad Asssss Song. Following that period Speilberg and Lucas created the blockbuster system, which saved Hollywood. Thereafter, scores of black folks in films and black themed movies disappeared.

Can This System Last? Where's the Full Access?

I see the movie business as archaic and near death as television and music. However, a powerful inertia keeps them all going. These entertainment vehicles exist, because people attend to them out of habit, and it still has the lowest barrier to entry for modest priced entertainment.

My biggest beef with these distribution systems (music, television and movies) is that they won't allow viewers and listeners unlimited access. I shouldn't have to hunt for music or a movie. I should be able to find it the same way we Google for information.

Movie Reviews

M. Night Shyamalan likes to keep folks guessing to the very end.

Unfortunately, The Happening didn't happen. It has terrific visuals in the beginning: construction workers falling like robotic dolls off of a building.

Unlike his past films, Shyamalan doesn't offer any coherent clues as to the reason behind the mass suicides. There are red herrings. Marky Mark (Mark Wahlberg) wears a mood ring, and you wait for it to be a plot point. It yields no clues what-so-ever.

What initially starts off as a good semi-sci-fi-mystery devolves into a tame, lame, and rather boring nature-goes-bad film. I would like for Shyamalan to watch a few Hitchcock films, especially The Birds. He needs to remember these key points: Am I trying to scare them? Make them laugh? Or put them to sleep?

Get Smart had one good thing about it: Dwayne Johnson. It was a shame he wasn't shown more.

This flick is a remake of sorts. Like the horrid Bewitched, it is based on a television series. I could only ask myself: Why? It wasn't smart, or funny. I loved the reruns as a child. I like Steve Carell, but this film is decades late.

Cold War Era films lost their relevance many years ago. The standard plot line in any film coming out of Hollywood today is: the enemy is us. So that being the case, there are no surprises left.