Transformers
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Back in the day, I'd watch this cartoon religiously. Don't ask me all the details! I don't remember everything as well as some people. However, when Optimus Prime was killed, (he came back as a ghost) I was seriously hurt by that. I cried! I love that voice. I was mad too, because his group of robots always seemed weak and kinda wack to me.
How can you have an awesome, can-do-almost-anything group of robots, and was always getting your butts kicked and outsmarted by the Decepticons?
The film was enjoyable simply because I find Shia LaBeouf so damn cute. I don't mean sexually, I mean, smooch his cheeks, and hug him, cute. Like I do with my half-grown, over 6 feet tall nephews.
I watched the DVD, 'cause no one was going to catch me watching this thing in the theatres. It's a teen boy flick. Films like this are made for them. I know it certainly wasn't made for black women such as myself. The only time black women were shown: as the silent wife of Bernie Mack, which he felt he needed to curse at, and the hectoring nosy busybody of Anthony Anderson's grandmother.
I won't get into how being rude and disrespectful to black women in a blockbuster film is supposed to be entertainment. It is not.
Do people need to start being taken out for this message to reach the critters that run the Media Industrial Complex?
The plot: many years ago the grandfather of Sam Witwicky (Why this name? I don't get the joke) found a frozen Megatron (leader of the evil Decepticons), and an all powerful cube. Therefore, everyone must chase Shia LaBeouf (Sam Witwicky) and Megan Fox (not a blonde and rather pretty!) around for 2 hours.
Hilarity! sometimes ensued. I like to see things blown up: har, har, har.
It took me a while to recognize Tyrese. Man, he's gotten big. I mean that in a good way. I don't get the fanfare (fanlust, rather) over Josh Duhamel. There he was, a sort of G.I. Joe character. Tyrese was the black G.I. Joe.
Black male characters say the same things as the white guys, but are required to do it with slang and more flavor. Rinse and repeat.
This is part one, of how many films I don't know, or care to. I expect perhaps two more, since Hollywood wants to milk out the big bucks. However, they never do a good job with multiple film story arcs, since most franchises run out of steam by the second flick.
I'll watch the ensuing films - maybe, but I don't expect much. I never did watch any more Harry Potter films after the first one.
The Last King of Scotland
Tuesday, August 12, 2008 Forrest Whitaker is awesome. Period.
This film is supposed to be about Idi Amin, seen through the eyes of a nascent Scottish doctor. Granted, James McAvoy plays a cute, naive, and well intentioned Dr. Nicholas Garrigan. He doesn't realize how deep the doo-doo he's in, until it is nearly too late.
In my humble opinion, Forrest Whitakerowns this movie from the moment he appears on screen. He's compelling, scary, unpredictable, canny, and paranoid. One wonders what he's going to do next.
This Idi Amin has a menacing quality mixed with latent charm. Why? The guy is huge. He makes Dr. Garrigan (McAvoy) a child, in every sense of the word.
For me, there is no other reason to watch this film than to see Forrest Whitaker's performance.
Dr. Garrigan likes women, especially native African women. Without giving away the plot, his little head gets him into trouble. Big trouble.
Kerry Washington, as always, was lovely in this film. She plays Amin's third wife, Kay.
By the way, this film is not a true story.
Educational tip (at least for me): Amin was a Muslim with many wives. I had heard about him, the number of people killed under his rule, and other horror stories. In 2003, after living in exile and comfort in Saudi Arabia, he passed away. Got that? Unlike the thousands of people he had slaughtered, this dictator died of old age.
Useless fan fact: As an ex-New Yorker, I've seen my share of the famous.
I saw Forrest Whitaker, many many years ago in Manhattan. There he was strolling down 9th Avenue, a big guy with no entourage. What I can recall, and liked the most about him, is that he did not wear a, 'You know who I am?' smirk on his face. Instead, he makes eye contact, and that's it. Nice.
The Dark Knight
Monday, August 4, 2008 I expected to see more of Health Ledger as The Joker. I wasn't disappointed by his performance. He wasn't the sole focal point I expected. This movie was a heady-duty ensemble piece. I would say that if they didn't have all these characters the film could have been tighter. The Joker was enough.
The surprise is that the film didn't feel long. With some movies I feel like I should have brought a pillow. Then again, I walk in just as the credits roll or the film starts.
May I say how hot Christian Bale is?
It's a shame too, because there is absolutely no chemistry between Christian Bale and Maggie Gyllenhaal. Zip, zilch, nada. Hey dudes, try a Latina, or black woman next time - at least to make it interesting! Kerry Washington would be a fantastic pick.
Christoperh Nolan, the director, and whoever the producers are, need to study up on the James Bond films. Bond has massive sex appeal - along with being deadly - that's why the franchise has lasted so long. Not saying this film wont break records, I like logical continuity and development of a character.
This movie is excellent. It is, however, not a film for anyone under 13 or 14 years old. There's hardly any blood, but the suggested violence had me flinching, and I'm a veteran of nihilistic gory films.
Aaron Eckhart (another hotness) as Harvey Dent was another "hero" in contrast to Batman. He is day light (knight) - in personality and temperament - to Batman's dark night (knight).
Get it? Wickedly and deliciously, the roles reverse.
Christian Bale's Bruce Wayne shows very little character in this film, unlike the first. To me, he's become one dimensional. I blame it on the movie having too many characters: they weren't necessary. Heath Ledger as The Joker did not steal this film: Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent did.
The contrasts: blond, cleft-chined Harvey Dent was the open, willing, non-masked, non-caped crusader for justice. He was focused on fighting the good fight and he wasn't afraid of dying.
The clever scheme: The Joker was able to make the case, to a fickle public, that The Batman, caped crusader, masked, unknown and protected was the real menace to society and coward.
The conundrum: The Joker cleverly corners Batman. How does one fight a madman who thrives on chaos and violence? The irony of this film - that violence is all Batman has to offer, exposes an elemental flaw.
ThisBatman is too much brute strength, violence, high tech tools, and not enough brain.
Christopher Nolan forgets that part of Batman's winning appeal and arsenal of weapons is his intelligence. He can give us riveting contrasts to Batman, but he neglects Bruce Wayne's brilliance.
I would appreciate if the next director and writer could remember that Batman isn't just a violent buff vigilante, he's a clever one too.
As always, I'm impressed by British and Australian actors who speak American dialect(s) so flawlessly and easily.
Hollywood is Dead, Long Live Hollywood: The Happening and Get Smart
Tuesday, July 22, 2008 These two movies prove that there's something really wrong with the people who "greenlight" films in the Hollywood system. I don't doubt these movies will make a decent and acceptable return on the money the studios put into them.
A Little History
Currently, the films that are emerging from Hollywood remind me of the last two periods in which they were dying: 1950's and 1970's. The 1950's was the first period of slow death due to the advent of television. It also gave us all those "classic" B-films like Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.
The 1970's was a true near death: the original studio system, run by true media moguls, had been completely swallowed up by corporate bean counters. The films produced were nihilistic, pessimistic and violent.
They offered up nearly a decade of "black exploitation" because of the success of Van Peebles' Sweet Sweetback’s Baad Asssss Song. Following that period Speilberg and Lucas created the blockbuster system, which saved Hollywood. Thereafter, scores of black folks in films and black themed movies disappeared.
Can This System Last? Where's the Full Access?
I see the movie business as archaic and near death as television and music. However, a powerful inertia keeps them all going. These entertainment vehicles exist, because people attend to them out of habit, and it still has the lowest barrier to entry for modest priced entertainment.
My biggest beef with these distribution systems (music, television and movies) is that they won't allow viewers and listeners unlimited access. I shouldn't have to hunt for music or a movie. I should be able to find it the same way we Google for information.
Movie Reviews
M. Night Shyamalan likes to keep folks guessing to the very end.
Unfortunately, The Happening didn't happen. It has terrific visuals in the beginning: construction workers falling like robotic dolls off of a building.
Unlike his past films, Shyamalan doesn't offer any coherent clues as to the reason behind the mass suicides. There are red herrings. Marky Mark (Mark Wahlberg) wears a mood ring, and you wait for it to be a plot point. It yields no clues what-so-ever.
What initially starts off as a good semi-sci-fi-mystery devolves into a tame, lame, and rather boring nature-goes-bad film. I would like for Shyamalan to watch a few Hitchcock films, especially The Birds. He needs to remember these key points: Am I trying to scare them? Make them laugh? Or put them to sleep?
Get Smart had one good thing about it: Dwayne Johnson. It was a shame he wasn't shown more.
This flick is a remake of sorts. Like the horrid Bewitched, it is based on a television series. I could only ask myself: Why? It wasn't smart, or funny. I loved the reruns as a child. I like Steve Carell, but this film is decades late.
Cold War Era films lost their relevance many years ago. The standard plot line in any film coming out of Hollywood today is: the enemy is us. So that being the case, there are no surprises left.
Hancock
Monday, July 14, 2008 I suppose Will Smith is trying to work out of being the "nice, good guy" all the time in every movie. Can't say I blame him. I haven't seen I Am Legend yet, so I won't say if his intensity of roles starts there or not.
I really liked this movie. I wasn't sure if I would, because of the reviews. I take movies in one or two ways: serious or not. Most of the time, not. I've read the reviews, and I'm thinking: Did we see the same movie?
He does start off as a bad tempered, angry, amnesiac superhero. I think some people conflate the piss poor behavior with him being black. It's not mentioned, because it is rather obvious. People have taken that wrong, as if to say if he's going to be a superhero he shouldn't have any issues.
Well, if that was the case: what would be the point of the movie?
If superheros didn't have emotional or relationship issues there wouldn't be a movie to see. I read one guy's blog where he says he doesn't know of a superhero who doesn't get to have sex with the girl or keep her in the end.
I sooo dislike these sweeping generalities, because if any of them saw the Hulk movies, Superman, Batman, or any other superhero overcoming his emotional problems - it is all there. They often don't get the girl, sex, or even a damn dry kiss. Some men should admit, especially the black guys, that they just want to see Will Smith have sex with a white girl.
Charlize Theron and Will Smith have terrific chemistry on screen. I'm sure they may make another film together. It could happen. I would be pleased to see them kiss on screen, if the story is plausible. I dislike any movie with gratuitous sex, violence or stupidity, no matter the color of the actors.
But these guys should be honest, which would make their blogs and movie reviews worth reading. To just see a black guy sex a white girl - that's already free, and a click away on the Internet.
Will Smith did alright with this film: he was a sad, angry and lonely superhero without a sense of purpose. He found "family" in the end, who gave him a sense of purpose, although not with the solution or format some people may have desired.
For all we know, there may be a sequel. I see room for it.
Iron Man Vs RoboCop
Saturday, June 21, 2008 Do I really need to explain the premise of Iron Man? Marvel decided to take back their comic book movie franchise(s) from the studios, and make these films in their own image.
How would I rate that effort? Gentle, familiar - certainly with no surprises.
Summary: Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) of Stark Industries gets kidnapped in Afghanistan while visiting with US troops to demonstrate and oversee how his company's weapons are being used. Well, let's just say that after that ordeal he has a change of heart.
I liked this film: it was funny. Robert Downey, Jr. has these huge, intense, stroke of midnight eyes. He gives a good performance. It's what he does, the most he can do, along with the snarky remarks that makes this film fun.
I certainly loved the Audi he drove.
Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard (is it me, or does his voice grate in this flick?), and Jeff Bridges (love me some JB) round out the cast of familiar faces.
I have to treat myself to all the Jeff Bridges flicks I can find - starting with Starman. Hmmm.
Hey, Jon Favreau (of Swingers; directed Elf with Will Ferrell) finally lost weight. He plays bodyguard / driver. Fitting role: he's already a big mofo. Glad to see him drop those killer pounds.
I watched this film thinking: Reminds me of a sedate, calm version of RoboCop.
When that masterpiece of science-fiction sadomasochistic sarcastic extremism - thank you Paul Verhoeven! -came out, I watched it a total of four times.
I was in total lust with Peter Weller's lips.
I've never watched any movie that often since.
Iron Man is a sweeter, kinder version of RoboCop, or Batman if you prefer.
You Don't Mess With the Zohan
Thursday, June 12, 2008
I love stupid movies. I was hysterical when I saw There's Something About Mary in the theaters. I was afraid I was going to pass out I laughed so hard. Don't get me started on Dumb and Dumber.
Some days I need to sit back and laugh. I don't want to be an intellectual when I go to see a comedy. There are enough things to be analytical and miserable about.
You Don't Mess With the Zohan is definitely not for everybody. It's low brow humor. Very low brow. It aims for the crotch - literally. If one has the sense of humor of a giggly 12 year old this movie will do. My sense of humor is that of a 10 year, so this facile film was a treat.
Plot: superman-like Mossad agent Zohan (Adam Sandler) fakes his death after a fight with The Phantom (John Turturro).
I don't know where they filmed that beach scene, but the water crystal clear fabulous. That place was beautiful.
A few familiar faces appear onscreen: Kevin James (he's so chunky-fat cute), John McEnroe, and Mariah Carey.
Half of the time, the fake accents were incomprehensible. When the movie hits DVD, I'm going to put Close Caption on. I put CC on every film. I can't hear anyone now-a-days, most actors mutter or the music is too loud.
CSI: Gedda and Gary Dourdan, So Long Warrick Brown
Monday, May 19, 2008
Was it the budget cuts? Was it the writer's strike? Is the show becoming too expensive to produce? I watched CSI, since the show started, not only for the ridiculous crime scenes and scenarios, but for the interaction of its characters. They were quirky people with interesting, yet troubled pasts, narratives, and characteristics than the other CSI franchise shows.
I've always watched watched Gary Dourdan's Warrick Brown with a sense of foreboding. I remember the Mod Squad reruns as a kid, when they killed off Linc Hayes (Clarence Williams III). I cried when it happened! How could they do that?
Even when Sara and Nick were in danger, I never expected them to die. I'll let you figure out why. The storyline was that the crew would do their best to find them, which is exactly what happened.
You can always tell when it is the final episode for a character. The plot is ridiculous: the story isn't plausible no matter what. Then there are those deep heartfelt hugs, handshakes, and strange looks that pass between the actors.
I never thought that Gary Dourdan's character would last up to and including the show's end. Steam runs out of a program by the third or fourth year. CSI gave up the ghost around year five or six.
It's just that I can't get the image of that bullet hole in Warrick Brown's neck out of my mind.
He was my favorite character, because he was a bit "off the rails" and foine as hell. Physically, he's the biggest guy there, and if people started nonsense, he'd step in to protect the others. I liked him, because he acted real: a normal guy doing his job, with lots of emotional and personal baggage.
I also liked the interaction he had with Grissom (William Petersen). I could never put my finger on it, but it wasn't that typical Hollywood phony and stupid dynamic of black guy being a doofus or supernegro sidekick to the white guy (see Psych, and every damn black-white buddy flick).
I think Grissom's character was able get the best out of Warrick, because he demanded it. Warrick respected him for that. I saw Grissom as a quasi-surrogate father figure to Warrick.
Naked Lunch
Thursday, May 15, 2008
A film by David Cronenberg, from a novel by William S. Burroughs. I watched this film because I always expect work produced by Cronenberg to be weird.
Plot summary: an exterminator's wife has been using his bug powder as a drug. He's at the police station when they ask that he speak to someone. Turns out to be this big disgusting bug, which asks him to kill his wife. Why? Supposedly, she's an agent and not really human. Later, he "accidentally" shoots her in the head. After that episode, the film follows a circular path covering the same issue(s) over and over again.
Can't say I was disappointed. This is a perfect film art school movie. I can imagine a professor prodding students to find the hidden themes, symbolism, metaphors, subtext, context and the like in this film.
Since I loathe cockroaches and all manner of bugs, I found this film to be disgusting and creepy.
The only thing I enjoyed was Peter Weller's well shaped lips.
But was it a good film? Honestly, I dunno. I was wondering if there was some kind of anti-communist, anti-homosexual, or pro-homosexual, pro-communist subtext. It had a very 1950s feel to it. And the repressed 1950s gave us the over-expressive 1960s and 1970s.
I think only someone during those eras could "get" what was going on in this film. 'Cause I didn't.
Electric
chair. Awful!
Barely tolerable.
S'okay.
Good for home.
Sweet!
